Pictures

I have started and stopped this blog about 5 times. I am just not sure what to write. We feel God has us at a crossroads between two different organizations; both would be a blessing to work with and we can see where we would fit in both situations. Yet we are still waiting for God's direction. His direction is not a voice in the wind or in our minds (although sometimes it is), but is instead a deep sense of 'this is right'. Not because of logic (although of course that plays into it) but because in the waiting, we can sense and hear the Holy Spirit's assurance. We are waiting on that assurance. 

The interesting thing that I am learning as I wait is that I believe this is where God always wants me to be. Not focused on the end results of my marriage, family, friendships, mission or job, but completely focused on relating to my God. I am reading "My Utmost for His Highest" and August 5th states, 

"A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God."

Simplicity, calm, relaxed pace...not dependant on circumstances, but only on my focus. 

Prayer requests:

-Pray for direction for our family. We want to hear clearly from God where he wants us to serve next

-Pray for protection; emotional, physical, and spiritual

-Pray for your missionaries. They need your prayers. 

The place we are staying has an elderly program. The kids and I have been able to be part of handing out food every Monday. It is a fun time of singing together, praying together, and connecting. 

Our fellow missionary friend is a big guy too (how many big, white, and bald guys are in Haiti?!?!). This is a VERY little van. :)

We found the UN restaurant on the UN base. Its cheap, has a tv, and has ice cream. This is the kiddos choosing their ice cream. (Its the small things)

Huge parking lot in Haiti, and the only three cars in it are around the tree. Made me smile. 

The kids and I had the opportunity to serve along side a short term mission team doing a VBS. There were about 130 children that were ministered to through song, sports, play, dance, crafts, and lessons. 

Sierra absolutely loves the little ones.  

This little one wouldn't smile the first day so I snuck her some oreos. As you can see, I won her over. What a beautiful peanut. 

This particular short term mission team really loved on my kids. I am grateful that they were so willing to befriend my missionary kids and encoraged them in their spiritual life. 

Touch is universal. 

Fun outside activities at the VBS.

My cute hubby mowing the lawn. 

Waiting

We are getting a lot of questions about what our next steps will be. We are currently a family living in Haiti without an organization and without an identified mission. This is not how we envisioned our first year in Haiti however, we know that God has led us every step of the way and He does not make mistakes. We will be coming back to Minnesota in October and our hope is that God will give us a clear direction by then. We know that whatever God calls us to do will require quite a few spots of His stepping in and opening doors, so we are excited to share that with you all too. 

We have been surprised with how many organizations are looking for a missionary couple to work with them. We have been approached by no less than 7 different organizations, Haitian run and American run. It seems that the Bible verse, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few" (Luke 10:2) is true. This does however bring up a different difficulty, which one does God want us to work with? We will not move until He makes our path clear. So this requires lots of prayer...and lots of patience. Waiting. I think this is the trickiest part of life as a Christian.

Waiting is where the real surrender comes into play. It is where I lay down my own will and thoughts and walk away from them. Waiting is where I learn to be still, to quiet the constant thoughts and chatter in my mind so that I can 'hear' God's direction. Waiting is where I show that I trust Him and His ways more than the ways of my own logic. It is knowing that by doing this, God will be glorified, not me. Waiting is completely counter to my insides which are screaming that we HAVE to plan something. 

Psalm 37:7a

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act.

One thing I have noticed about following God. He makes us wait a lot. And usually, I have found that He gives the direction at the very last minute. I believe He does this so that it is apparent to EVERYONE that He did the work, not me. I also believe He does this so my trust in Him grows. Because He is always faithful. 

2 Thessalonians 3:3

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.

So, I know that this struggle to wait is affecting many of our friends and family too. We all want to know what is next; in your own life, in our lives. I promise, as soon as we know God's next steps for us, we will be sharing them. But until then, I am practicing waiting on God with surrender and complete trust in Him. 

Are you waiting on God for something too?  

Our current job

Many of you have probably been wondering what we are doing with this time of 'oranization-less-ness'. So I am going to start this blog with a word picture of our daily lives. Shane is volunteering his time with the organization we are staying with. He works from 7:30am- 4:30pm Mon-Fri, but as with any mission organization, when emergencies come up, you work. He is loving it. He is learning a ton about mechanics, generators, building walls, sharpening lawn mower blades, building and installing tresses for a house, working on computers, and the list goes on. He is really excited because next week he is going to be learing how to drill wells. 

There are two couples that live here; the ones who founded this organization have lived in Haiti for 31 years, the other has been here for 11 years. They both have so much knowledge to share and their willingness to do that is such a blessing to us. Shane and I have been spending as much time as we can to learn what they do, how they do it, and why they do it that way. 

My job is much less organized. Honestly the first three weeks we were here the chikengunya virus reaked havoc on my body. My joints have been hurting, a lot. So much that I have not been able to sleep or move. This is not to complain, although I have been doing a lot of that (just ask Shane) but instead to give glory to God. In the last 4 days I have felt phenominal with minimal aches and pains. Yea!! Anyway, I have been able to learn how they run their convention center, their teams, and paperwork...there is a lot of paperwork and help where needed.  

The kids have finished with school which leaves lots of free time. They wake early, do some house chores, and then go outside to play. I had mentioned before that this compound has over 60 acres of land. This is heaven to my children. Shane and I have always said that our children have so much energy that they should have been farm kids, well now they kind of are. They run like crazy, explore, make up adventures...be kids. Plus there are two American families and one Haitian family with kids live on the compound so there is always someone to play with. Life for them is good. 

Shane and I have found that the longer we spend in Haiti the more we come to realize that we have absolutely no idea what is going on. :) The long term couples have assured us that this is the best way to approach living in Haiti, as a learner. It reminds me very much of myself as a 20 year old. I thought I had things pretty under control and knew quite a bit however, now at 38 years old I realize that my 20 year old self was still a baby. I try to keep this in mind in the present because I am sure that when I am 50 I will look at my 38 year old self and realize how much wisdom I was lacking. I think the word is humility. 

Proverbs 22:4

Humility is the fear of The Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life. 

Psalms 25:9

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his ways. 

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 

We had a Bible study recently where the man leading it stated that humility is one of those things that you simply can not have enough of. Not the fake kind but the true humility. When I thought about it, I realized that that is true. People with genuine humility have beauty shining out of their spirits, and people are drawn to them because that shining is the Holy Spirit. I want to be that shining example of God's spirit. 

 

Sierra making new friends. 

Creative corn on the cob holders.

Tarantula hunting. I stayed inside. Yuck.

Climbing trees and playing games. 

Our missionary friend. He and Shane are mistaken for each other often. How many big bald white guys are there in Haiti?

Beautiful Haiti.

Serving

A couple of our Haitian friends told me that they were coming over to wash our clothes on Sunday. When I told them that they didn't have to do that, they insisted. I was worried maybe they thought I could pay them to wash my clothes so I let them know that we don't have the money to pay someone to do that for us, they looked at me and said, "No, it is a service we want to do for you because you are our friend." Their kindness makes me cry. They are looking after us as one of their own. 

Let me explain how the Haitians clean their laundry. There is no washing machine to put your clothes in (that takes too much water and electricity). Instead, you have a couple of tubs of water, two kinds of soap, and your hands. It is very hard work. First you soak the clothes in soapy water, then you take each item of clothing between your hands and scrub every inch of the article of clothing between your knuckles and make a squishing noise. If you don't make the squishing noise, you are doing it wrong (makes me smile every time I have helped). Then you wring out the clothes. Then you soak them in clean water and wring the clothing out again, and sometimes a third time. After that you hang the clothes on the line to dry. This doesn't sound like much until you think about the sheer number of times that this must be done for a family of 5. In Haiti we go through about two outfits a day because of dirt and sweat. So for a week that is approximately 210 articles of clothing (not including socks). That is a lot of scrubbing and wringing. It is by far one of the hardest jobs that the women of Haiti do. It is monotonous, never ending, and very hard on your hands. 

1 Peter 4:10

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 

These women were offering serving me, and my family, by offering to do an unfun job for us because of their love. What a beautiful picture of Jesus these ladies are to me. 

They came this Sunday to serve us by doing our laundry and we were able to bless them instead with time spent together. We have a washing machine at our home so we didn't' need them to serve us in this way, instead we were able to offer them a place to sit, something to drink, and a time to connect as equals. It was absolutely lovely. My heart is overflowing. 

The longer I am here, the more I come to understand how much I don't know about Haitian culture. My short time here has taught me that to do well in this culture and to love well I must always come as someone trying to learn. When I come with questions instead of assuming that my American way is best, I am able to partner with the Haitians to find out why they do things the way they do, explain the way we do things in America or the way I see things should be done, and then come to a way that works for both cultures. Sometimes I have found that yes, the American way works and is actually better; such as at Grace we encouraged our managers to have weekly one on ones and weekly or biweekly staff meetings. 

Other things we find that although initially it appears that the American way is better, the Haitian way of doing things is actually the most applicable. For instance I didn't understand why each employee needed at least two days off in a row. However, the longer I was there, I realized that unlike America, transportation to their homes is very difficult to find, very expensive, and takes forever (everything in Haiti is MUCH slower). If they were not given two days off in a row then they were unable to live any sort of life outside of their job which in turn, was bad for moral. My Haitian manager told me this, but I didn't understand at first and so I had implemented some schedule changes to better cover the job. Thankfully, God very quickly gave me the eyes to see how this was harming our staff and we were able to change it again. 

Now that we are no longer at Grace, our status has changed to one of 'boss' to one of 'friend'. This is completely different and when my lady friends visited me yesterday I asked them how to navigate friendships in Haiti. It is different and here is an example. We get daily and by-weekly texts or calls from our friends. They looks something like this;

Friend: Hi, how are you?

Me: Doing very well. How are you? 

F: I am good by the grace of God. 

F: How is Shane?

M: He is good. 

F: How are your kids?

M: They are good. How is your family?

F: They are good. Thank you. 

F: I miss you and your family. Have a good night. 

M: We miss you too. Thank you for talking to me. Have a good night.

That is it. This wouldn't be unusual except this can happen 5x in one night as all of our friends call us and say the exact same thing. So I asked my lady friends why and what this is. They let me know that this is how Haitians maintain their friendship. They will reach out to their friends daily, or sometimes bi-weekly so that their friends know they are valued and not forgotten. The conversations are short because there is not a lot of money to be put on cell phones. They have long conversations with their very closest friends. 

A part of me (the American) thinks this is silly. Why bother with this short conversation at all, how about a text or just seeing each other at the market? But the part (the one trying to learn from this Haitian culture) can see the value of a quick check in, because it lets the other person know they are important and valued. And since there is not a lot to do at night in Haiti, its a nice connection. So, I am learning.  

Prayer needs:

-Continue to pray for unity for our family

-Pray that we have the ears to hear God's whisper as he directs our next step

-Pray that we can continue to learn about the Haitian culture and to be a positive impact for God.

Some family soccer. :)

Our drinking water is walking distance away from our house but to make things easier we fill this cooler. This is how Landen gets a drink. 

This weekend we cleaned this little house which has four bathrooms and four showers. It is very near our home, so technically we now have 5 bathrooms and 5 showers. Ha!

A picture of the compound we live on. This is their conference area with the beautiful Haiti mountains behind. 

Moving in Haiti

I know everyone that has been following us is wondering what led to this decision to leave Healing Haiti and to go out on our own. The answer to this question is complicated and I am not sure that I am able to write it all out cohesively but I will give it a try. We know God called us to Haiti with Healing Haiti, He made it abundantly clear that this was His will. He also made it clear that it was time for us to leave Healing Haiti to find an organization that aligns more closely with our values. We believe that God has another job for us in Haiti however during this transition it is difficult to hear Him. So we have found a home that we can rent for the next couple of months so that we can rest. As we rest, we feel confident that God will make His next step for us clear. 

On Tuesday, we moved into a little two bedroom house (plus one bedroom detached). It took 60 minutes to load our things into three trucks, drive to our new home, and unload again. Unpacking isn't hard as we don't have anything to put our things in. Luckily my sister in law, Jenny, helped me pack well so we can live out of suitcases and totes until we decide what the next step is. We have beds, a table and folding chairs, a fridge, an oven, electricity, and water to drink. It is enough and it is good. 

Transition is always hard. We are so sad to be saying goodbye to our Grace kids. We plan on continuing to see them at church which will help with the transition but is not the same as seeing them daily. We are sad to be saying goodbye to our many friends on staff at Grace Village. They have taught us so much about the Haitian culture and have welcomed us from the beginning into their lives. I am so glad that we will continue to see them all in Titanyen. 

This is not how we thought things were going to go however, I have lived enough life to know that that is often how God works. My plans and expectations are so often different from God's plans which is why he asks us not to cling too tightly to our own will. At any time He can ask us to change, and as followers of Christ we must be willing to listen. I am so glad that I am following a God who has limitless resources, is able to be in all places at once, and is able to see all of time at once. That is a God I can trust. This is not a surprise to Him and He is not scrambling trying to make things right again. Although I feel deep sadness for what is no longer and what could have been and feel waves of fear when thinking of the uncertainty of our future, this is all part of His plan and we trust Him. 

We are so glad that you are on this journey with us. We know that many of you pray for and with us and we want you to know we can not do it without you. Prayer requests:

-Pray for the transition of our kids and our Grace kids

-Pray for rest for us and that in the rest we are able to hear God's direction

-Prayerfully consider supporting us financially. Whatever God calls us to do in Haiti is going to cost more than we currently have.

Permis de Sejour and other stories.

We have been working our Permis de Sejour, this is a work-type visa that allows us to stay in Haiti for more than 90 days. Some of you may not have read our Facebook postings on our Permis de Sejour 'Haitian Adventure' so we thought we would share. It still isn't over...

4/22/14

"It has taken 4 months, about 8 trips, more misc money and gas than I care to account for, but tomorrow we are going to go and apply again for our Permis. 

Please pray with us that we have everything and that God paves the way for us. (You think the government offices in America are tough)

An Update: the Immigration office has an unofficial week off this week. We will try again next week."

5/6/14

"Attempt #642 to go to Immigration and get our Permis so that we can stay in Haiti long term. Still not complete but we have a slim chance of finishing it today...prayers appreciated. Only God can make the government move."

5/9/14

"For those of you following our journey to get our Permis, attempt #645 will begin this morning. Prayers welcome.

Update: our paperwork has been staples together, our photo has been taken, fingerprints taken. Now we are waiting to pay for them...the employees didn't show up for work. 

Update: Forgot to tell you all: we met a man in the waiting room. He does this for a living. He has been helping us which is why we have gotten so far. I have no idea how much he charges, I don't think I care. 

Update: almost finished. He took our very important receipts (please God make him trustworthy) and said we would have our Permis next week. I think I may blog about this...it was so Haiti I was smiling much of the time (yesterday I cried so maybe I'm emotional). 

5/13/14

"Adventure #720. We were supposed to go into PAP yesterday to get our lisence, n# (thing SSN), & insurance for our car. However, on Sunday our timing belt broke. Shane spent all day Monday driving to get the part and fixing our vehicle. So today we are trying again. Only this time our vehicle overheated. We are now sitting on the side of the road waiting for it to cool so we can put more antifreeze in it. To be continued..."

Update: I think its all a great adventure. We don't get angry, just wonder what is next :)

5/13/14

"Adventure #722 we arrived at the place to get our drivers license. They won't let Shane in because he has shorts on (they suggested he borrow my pants...hmmm). I have now applied for my license but Shane is off trying to purchase a pair of pants on the street. To be continued...:)

Update: A miracle happened and he was able to buy a pair of pants (that fit great!) for 500 goudes (the equivalent of $11). Picture taken and now on to get insurance for our car. 

5/15/14

"Adventure #792 We went to get our insurance today and got a flat tire (so flat we heard the air coming out). Luckily we were in a great and safe spot to change it. Sadly our spare has a slash in it, our other one has already been repaired three times and leaks constantly. So we are buying 4 tires today. Not in our plans but we can still glorify God with our joy. :)

Today is 6/1 and we have learned a little more about the man 'helping' us. It sounds like sometimes he helps and sometimes he does not. So, if you are one of our prayer warriors, please pray with us that our paper work goes through and that we receive all of the paperwork we have paid for. 

God has been teaching Shane and I so much. Lately it has been about how to truly pursue God. David describes,

As the deer longs for streams of water,so I long for You, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before Him?

Psalms 42:1-2 (NLT)

Why is it that I allow the distractions of life to keep me from wanting to know and be near God with this kind of desperation. It is so easy to love God in the morning during my devotion time and then a little in the afternoon and some prayer in the evening, yet not really give my ENTIRE day to God. When I take a situation and talk about it, think constantly about it, plan for it, and worry about it I am letting the distraction of life take my focus off of God. This is not what God asks of me. 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me–everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT)

I want to be like Paul who stated 

...I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4:11c-13 (NLT)

He understood and had learned that the distractions don't matter, only knowing God more matters. And when I put my thoughts on God, surrendering my all, there is always peace. 

Prayer requests:

-There is a mosquito born virus called chikengunya and Shane had it 6 days ago and this morning I woke with it. It comes with fevers, major body aches, and a rash on your body. The fever lasts about 3 days but the body aches can last up to a year. Please pray for Shane but also for the many people that have this in Haiti yet don't have access to medication, clean water, or somewhere cool and comfortable to wait out the sickness. 

-Please pray that we will be given more knowledge of the Haitian culture so that we can work well with them. 

-Please pray that we continue to know how to keep our eyes on God

-Please pray for our children as they continue to transition into this life as a missionary. When we first started I thought we were the missionaries and they could just be kids. That is an unrealistic expectation. They are sacrificing and learning to love just as much as we are...so prayers for them. 

-Prayers that we will figure out how to do schooling, family, and work with balance (this one is cross-cultural:)). 

Thank you all for covering us daily in prayers. We can feel those prayers.

I have borrowed this beautiful picture with saying from my friend. There are many boats like this in Haiti. 

Our family was invited to participate in an Easter egg hunt at another organization. My kids had so much fun!

We went to the beach with some of the Grace Village orphanage children. This little man was hanging out with me.

Landen...

I love this pic. I can't remember if I have posted this one before. 

We are going to try and sell these baskets to support our living expenses in Haiti. If you are interested, please send me an email at imslandj@yahoo.com. We are selling the stacks of three for $35, however prices are negotiable. :) 

Missionary's hair, rummage sales, & a changed prayer life.

I have always thought that missionaries have their hair in a bun because its more holy. As a missionary, while I don't wear a bun, think ponytail or clip, I now have some more realistic reasons why missionaries often have their hair in some sort of updo.

1. It is hot...hair on your neck makes you sweat more. 

2. It is dirty. Third world countries are dirtier than you can possibly imagine, unless you camp. Then you have an idea. However it is almost impossible to keep your hair clean when you are outside in a third world country. 

3. At Grace Village in Titanyen, Haiti it is ALWAYS windy. This is wonderful because it cools us off. It makes your hair annoying as it whips around, into your eyes and mouth. 

4. It is difficult to get your haircut (colored) in third world countries. Therefore your hair gets long and needs to be controlled.

5. In Haiti, it is culturally normal to have your hair slicked back or in braids. :) Yeah for us because greasy hair does this wonderfully. 

Those are the reasons I have come up with so far. I bet if I asked some of the other missionaries they would have a couple of extra reasons too. However, now you know that it is not holiness that requires the buns, simple common sense. Ok, done with silliness for the day. On to other business. 

Our organization is blessed with the ability to have donations brought down by almost 900 people a year. I know from my work with donations coordinator that the struggle has been to be good stewards of our goers generosity. At Grace, we have been looking for a way to get our donations out into our very needy community without doing damage or causing dependance.
One thing I am learning about Haiti that I feel is so important to know is that it is an expectation to share something if you have it. This is such a large expectation that it is considered rude and people do not think that you are a Christian if you do not share.

We found a solution to this dilema when one of the other long terms and I were visiting Three Angels, They told us about the rummage sales they have with their extra donations.  They usually sell their items for 10 goudes (unless the item is incredible valuable and then they do it as a silent auction). This allows their employees to be blessed by the donations but still allows them to be responsible and have ownership because they are purchasing the items. Not only does this get the items out, this kind of sale will be perceived as sharing what we have and will help us relate better to the community of Titanyen. 

Tuesday we had our first rummage sale. It was a huge hit! The staff was thrilled and kept telling us over and over how excited they were to be able to purchase these items. They shared that it made them feel more part of the Healing Haiti community and more valued. What a blessing for both sides.

A fun part of this is that our staff knows that the money being raised during these rummage sales will be used to have a Christmas party for the staff. So it truly is a win/win situation. :) 

I wish you could hear the noise and feel the excitement as well as see the picture. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 

The last 6 months have been storm after storm and I have been clinging to Jesus so that I don't drown. I have learned so much about God's faithfulness and about my own shortcomings. My prayer life was and is my lifeline, my lifesaver and I know I could not make it through the day without constant prayer. 

For now, the storm is quiet and I told Shane my prayers are different. I'm not sure what to do. They lack the desperation that I had, yet I still need God and the connection of prayer. Shane told me, perhaps now it is time to be grateful. I thought on these words as I was sitting in the shade of a beautiful tree, listening to the ocean and marveling at the beauty of God's creation. I had a breeze to cool me, a drink with a pretty pink umbrella to hold and a book to read. It continues to bring me to tears with thankfulness. 

Psalm 29:1-2

Honor The Lord, you heavenly beings;

honor The Lord for his glory and streanght.

Honor The Lord for the glory of his name. 

Worship The Lord in the splendor of his holiness. 

Thank you Father God!