The influence a family can make

One of the Haitian employees at Grace had a dream the other night. She said she dreamed that Shane was walking around Grace Village with many of the other workers following him. As he was walking around the grounds, Shane would stop and point to a place in the ground and say, "Here" and he would bend down and begin to dig. He would then remove a voodoo bottle. In her dream, Shane would then continue to another place and would point again and remove another voodoo bottle. 

What an amazing dream! A dream of God using Shane to lead those at Grace Village, of those at Grace trusting Shane and following him, and of this group routing out the evil so that Grace can shine God's light. 

I read this verse this morning and it fits the dream of our employee/friend. 

"Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light." Luke 11:34-36

One of our missions here at Grace is to just be an example of a family. We are broken, as I have said very often in this blog, but we love Jesus, we love each other and we know how to say we are sorry and mean it. Some ways we are an example is just by living here. The Grace kids are able to see that families eat together, they look after each other, they fight and get into trouble sometimes. 

One time, my children were being very naughty so I sent them to bed at 6:30pm. I then went out to hang out with the Grace kids for a couple of minutes. They started to ask for my kids and I told them that my children were not listening so they had to take a punishment and go to bed. The Grace kids where incredulous! My kids didn't listen?? They got in trouble?? The questions went on for quite some time. I know that the Haitian culture often thinks that white skin means better, but we are human and we get to show them that humanness. Who knew our humanness could be part of our ministry. 

Another way our family is being used is an example of a father's protection. One of the boys at Grace intentionally hurt Sierra. Normally this is something that we would encourage Sierra to handle with her words or would help her work through with a monitor and the child to understand what happend. This time was different; the boy was older, we know this boy struggles being kind to others, and Sierra was really hurt. So Shane went to have a talk with this boy about how he treats his daughter. It was done respectfully but with force. Every child that was near stopped to watch Shane. The point was made, a dad protects his child. 

The best thing was the follow up. Later that night Shane made sure to find this boy and give him a hug so that he knew there was forgiveness. I am not sure they see that very often. For a while after, the other children were careful around him, but they soon realized that he really did forgive the boy. 

This ended up resulting in another lesson as a few of the boys talked about how if Shane hit me, he could kill me. We were able to have a very good talk about how Shane NEVER hits me and never has. That hitting a woman can never be an option because a man has so much strength but instead a man is to protect his wife. In a country where it really is about survival of the fittest, this is something they don't understand very well. In fact, it came up again with two of our young men that live at Grace. We found out that they hit one of the girls and we were able to discuss "What is a real man?". I pray constantly that this message seeps into their hearts and minds and that they are able to apply this in their life inside and outside of Grace. 

The children play a lot of games with each other's emotions and use manipulation to get their way. This is no different than any child, except they don't have parents that are helping them process through these emotions and make better choices. One of the things the children like to do is to be mad at one another. I have been on the recieving end of this mad (which looks like ignoring, talking about, and dirty looking) and it can last for as long as a month. The person on the receiving end can have no idea why the other person is mad. Our family is combating this by addressing the person that is mad. When we notice a child is acting mad at us, we ask them if they are mad, we then let them know that we are sad but that we are here to listen if we have offended them somehow. Sometimes they stay mad a long time, but more often than not, they decide that since we are not trying to take their power, it is more fun to just address the issue and be friends again. 

Our house is also a place of safety. Some of the chidlren received Legos for Christmas and we gave them the option of putting their toys at our house. Quite a few took us up on that offer. They know that at our house, we will respect their things by not touching or allowing anyone else to touch their toy. Our hope is this will teach them that there are safe places. 

One little boy that has been having a very hard time, has found our house to be a place of refuge. He often spends time in our time-out room, but he also spends a lot of time on our couch. Sometimes he is playing video games with one of our phones and sometimes he is building Legos. Recently he came into our house, lay on the couch, put a pillow over his head, and cried. It is a safe place to be sad. 

One of my favorite things to do is to go to the dorms and kiss the kids goodnight. We don't do this every night, but it is a fun way to see the kids and let them know we value them. The little boys will get a kiss from me and then run to lay in their beds so that they can get another one. Or sometimes they will offer a kiss back. So sweet. At first I thought the older boys would not be interested, too cool, but they always offer their cheek and a shy smile. The little girls always welcome the kiss and will often squeeze in a hug. The big girls are tricky, but one of my favorite things to do is tell them how gorgeous they are as I give them a kiss. 

God is using our family. It isn't the huge things that we do that is making the biggest difference, but the little things. God is using our relationships to make change happen and to make a positive impact. Life in Haiti is never boring.  

 

Austin has found his favorite spot to sit and read. 

Sierra doing homework. 

The boys practicing their soccer skills. 

Shane was able to be a firefighter in Haiti. There was a grass fire and he ran this water down the school's roof to put out the fire. 

Our Grace kids are SO creative. They used construction equipement to make a drum set. (photo compliments of Rachel)

Culture Shock

We have hit the three month mark. We have survived and even thrived in many areas. So it got me thinking, what is the process. What is normal? So I did a little bit of research to find out the stages of culture shock. 

First Stage: Honeymoon or tourist stage

I think this lasted like 2 minutes. :) No, not really. I think that this stage actually lasted about 3 weeks for Shane and I and maybe a little longer for the kiddos. Some fun things about this stage:

1. There were times we were sort of bored

2. Every one we met had a clean slate

3. The kids favoite part was hanging out with so many friends

Second Stage: Irritation and anger stage

So this stage is where you feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by all of the differences in the culture. Apparently it is normal to get mad at the differences and feel like your home culture is superior. 

I think we jump in and out of this stage regularly. It is just SO different. 

1. One of our biggest challenges has been food. If you remember my earlier blog we seriously struggled with how to eat a balanced diet,  how to eat food found in Haiti, and how to have food we enjoy. (Good news is in this department anyway, we have moved to the next stage). 

2. Why is it so hard to develop unity at Grace? 

3. Why is driving so dangerous in Haiti? 

4. The kids would wonder why it is so difficult to be friends with children from another culture & from an orphanage. 

Third stage: Adjustment & reintegration

This is the phase where you become more open and accepting. You begin to understand how the culture will react, you know how to do 'life' in a way that is acceptable, and you begin to be proactive. 

We are toying with this phase. We are working on self care and putting up good boundaries. We live at our job, with our coworkers. Its a lot of togetherness. Don't get me wrong, I like togetherness...this is a lot. :) So we are communicating a lot with each other as a family and making sure that each persons needs are being taken care of. Some fun things about this stage:

1. I know where to go to get food that I can't buy at the local market! Yea!!

2. We are making friends with those in the community and feel safe driving home at night. 

3. The kids would say, they are learning more and more Creole which is helping them communicate and avoid some friendship pitfalls. 

Fourth Stage: Integration and assimilation stage

In this stage, you compare both cultures but you do so realistically. You feel comfortable and settled. You are just living a normal life. 

Someday we will be here. I'll keep you posted when we get here. 

Fifth Stage: Reverse or reentry stage

This stage is being excited about going home. Yet slowly realizing that things changed while you were gone. 

Sixth Stage: Shocked about the differences

In this stage you realize that things are not better at your home country. You even begin to miss where you were. 

So there you have it. We are working through the process. I know that one blessing has been that we are here for a two year commitment. This length of time has kept us from looking at our end date and instead keeping our eyes focused on the now. We are coming back to Minnesota Feb 10th-24th and that has got us missing our family even more. We are so excited to be able to visit them and refill. 

I have been making a list of things that I want to remember about our first year in Haiti, before we get to the Fourth Stage of culture shock. 

-Everyone shares what they have

-For Christmas they stay up late Christmas Eve and sometimes set off fireworks 

-I bought a laundry basket for $250 goudes (about $5 American dollars). Before that we were using a black plastic bag. It's the small things that make a difference 

-The reason the Haitian's use baby powder is that the sweat starts to hurt

-You can not flush #1 toilet paper or it will fill up your septic system. 

-If your system gets filled, someone (who gets paid a lot of money) will go down and shovel out the stuff that is left (apparently they drink a lot before they go down...yuck). 

-When you see someone for the first time of the day, it is required that you greet them. If you do not, they will think you are mad at them. They will probably ask you why you didn't say hello. 

-While driving, it is considered 'ok' to pass someone as they are passing someone else.

-Glasses of water left unattended often have small bugs floating in them. The bugs need water too and it is the drought season. 

-The kids play soccer on cement. This is an upgrade from rocky terrain. 

-Taking a shower the American way is tricky because there is little water pressure. It's easier to do it the Haitian way, with a little bucket. 

-It is important to tuck your sheets VERY tight so bugs don't crawl in there during the day. This also keeps the dust out of your bed.

-2 hours after cleaning the house we can write on the dresser because there is so much dust. 

-Haitians almost never fall even though their ground is really rocky. 

-All windows have bars, doors have locked gates and it is very important to make sure they are locked at night. (The police will probably not come if you call in case of an emergency)

-Church is held Mon-Fri from 5-6am, Wed 6-8pm, Sun 10am-12pm. Their worship is amazing. 

-When there is a grass fire in the mountain no one is able to put it out. 

So often when we drive or walk through the streets of Haiti I am overwhelmed by the love I feel for my Haitian brothers and sisters.  I know this love is only a fraction of what God feels for the Haitians. I am so grateful we get to serve here. 

(The information on culture shock was taken from expatcapetown.com blog. So good, thank you!)

Pictures of the Imslands in Haiti

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!! We want to thank each of you for your financial support, prayers support, and amazing encouragement we receive from you. Thank you for helping us follow God's call on our families' life. We could not do it without you!

Here is the Christmas tree that the Grace Village staff set up in our feeding center.

We had a beautifu dinner for our Grace kids and our Haitian staff. I absoltely loved being able to serve them. To be able to look into each of their eyes and show respect and gratitude for all the hard work they did this last year, what a blessing!

The Grace kids each recieved a gift. Many of the younger girls received dolls, the younger boys received legos and the older children received small personal radios. All were thrilled. I gave a short talk on how to take care of their legos and how to follow the directions to make the creation on the picture. Many of the boys came to our house later for help put their creation together. They had never had anything like those Lego kits before. Christmas morning, Austin, Landen, and I took hours to help walk the kids through the step by step directions to make their legos. This allowed them to learn the value of follwoing directions and the rewards that come when you do. So proud of my boys! 

We were able to attend the marriage of one of our friends the weekend after Christmas. It was a fun excuse to get dressed up and take pictures. A couple of the things unusual about Haitian weddings; they can start very late after the proposed start time (this one started 1hr 48 min late), the bridesmaids wear wedding dresses as well, the wedding lasts 2 hours and the reception is a time to distribute food to those that attended the wedding and then they imediately leave the reception. 

Bianca & Sierra

Hannah, Sierra, & Landen

Vanessa & Sierra

The beatiful couple!

One of our 4 year old Grace kids. Heat, 4 hours, and the necessity to sit still = nap time. 

One of our missionary family friends invited us to a beach that cators to missionaries and orphanages. We had such a wonderful time! Being a missionary family can be hard but we get to see the Caribbean daily and every once in a while we get to swim in it. Blessings. 

Daphne comes to our house 3 times a week and cleans our laundry and house. She is not just an employee, she is becoming part of our family. We just love her. During this Christmas vacation time her girls came to visit us. We had a great time talking, playing jumprope, playing soccer and sharing a little chocolate. 

We were able to visit our pastor's new baby. He is adorable as you can see. Such a sweet heart and his mom did an amazing job. The most fun thing for me is that I was able to help her with breastfeeding, doula training coming in handy. I stole this picture collage from one of the other long term missionaries. 

Austin and Landen have really fallen into the rythm of life in Haiti. One of the things they do daily is play soccer. They never played in America so they didn't bring any skills to Haiti. However with daily playing and practice outside of our house, they are getting better. Sometimes the big boys even let Austin play. 

This picture is of them sittling...waiting. 

New satellite instalation at Grace, this is Jean our fearless Hatian leader eating lunch 30 feet off the ground, sitting on the ledge,

Jonas, our Haitian maintenance man, is creating an extension cord in true Haiti fashion by connecting a plugless cord to another...

Today is New Years Day and we had friends from Shane, Bianca, and my May trip. We had a wonderful time connecting and enjoying friendships, new and old. 

2014...We can't wait to see what God will do this year!