A new momma at 18

I recently met a young girl, 18 years old, who has a 14 day old newborn. She was came to the burn clinic because she had a c-section and, though they aren't usually able to do this because they are too busy, they helped her by changing her bandages.

She was dressed interestingly...even for Haiti. She had a blue, see-through long sleeved shirt on under a black, sleeveless, summer dress. She had on school socks with the lace cuffs and a pair of thong sandals over that. 

When she was in the clinic, she had mentioned that her baby did not eat the day before and had not eaten yet this day...it was 8:30 am. I asked her if I could visit her to help her with breastfeeding and she said yes. At 11 am I arrived at her home. Her bed was sitting outside under a cover and her baby was lying on the bed, asleep. The baby was tiny, I would guess 4-5lbs at the most. She was sound asleep. 

One 'momma rule' is to never wake a sleeping baby, but this baby hasn't eaten for almost 36 hours. I started to rouse the baby by touching her neck, picking her up, unsnapping her onsie, when I noticed that she had something wrapped tightly around her middle. I asked the quiet momma what that was and she informed me that it is a binding that she had put on the baby to keep its stomach down. Apparently this is something that Haitian mommas do*************. I suggested that maybe we try to take that off to see if the baby would wake...she did. 

I went through doula training in America after I had Sierra. I think being part of births and postnatal care is amazing. For every single birth I was a part of I felt honored to be there to support the mommas. I personally had problems with natural birth and ended up with three c-sections, I also had problems with breastfeeding. Because of these problems, I read a lot, asked a lot of questions, and learned everything I could about breastfeeding. I alsoo learned as much as I could while training to be a doula. I had always thought that it would be easy to nurse, its natural so of course it would be easy. Nope. Not easy. A new mom has just gone through a dramatic experience physically, her hormones are going crazy and then she is responsible for another human being whose life depends on her completely. This often results in lots of doubts. 

I have two very smart Haitians friends who recently had babies. Both of these smart, educated women had serious problems with breastfeeding and were just at the point of giving up. God allowed me to be there when they were talking about being done and with each of them, 12 months apart, I offered printed material with information on breastfeeding. Both of them were able to make breastfeeding successful with that little information and encouragment. I now believe that much of the problem in Haiti, in regards to childcare, is lack of information and support. 

Put those two things and experiences and now every time I hear of a newborn baby I start asking the momma how the breastfeeding is going, how the baby is sleeping, how the momma is feeling, etc. There is so much information that these new mommas don't have access to. How can I not share this info and offer support?!?

Ok, back to the story. This mom and I sat together as I showed her how to hold the baby to breastfeed, how to hear the baby 'cough' cry which often means hunger, how to listen to the baby to make sure she is drinking. We talked about how to be present, how to breath in and out and relax, how to enjoy the fact that her baby can see her (the mom's) face as she is nursing. I offered encouragement; no her miik is not just water, it may look like that but it has lots of nutrients. No don't stop nursing right away, this baby is trying to figure out how to nurse and her body needs to know it is still feeding a baby. Yes, you, momma can and are doing a good job with this little girl. Your body will nourish her, you can love her well, just keep being present. 

After being a positive voice while she nursed on both sides (approximately an hour and a hafl) I told her I needed to go. I asked if I could check on her on Thursday to which she said yes. 

To be honest, this is a one sided report. This little momma said yes to everything I said, so I'm not sure how much she absorbed. My hope is she absorbed enough to be able to continue to thrive as a momma and that her baby will also thrive. My hope is that God used the visit to let her know she is not alone, God hasn't forgotten her. Wouldn't it be amazing if she found Jesus, the Jesus who accepts the broken. Wouldn't it be a miracle if God uses this to draw her near?  My hope is that this happens. I'm praying for this to happen. 

Please pray with me for both the mom and little baby girl. 

If you feel called to help this momma, please let me know!

Relationships that humble me

Last night, our family had dinner at one of our Haitian friends' house. We had a wonderful time. They fed us an amazing meal of chicken, pasta, and fried plantains. They spoiled us with fresh fruit for desert and cokes. We discussed our love for Jesus and passion to share the gospel with those who are lost, with those who are rejected by the local churches because they are too broken. As we talked, our children played cars, colored pictures, and ran up and down the hall playing 'hide and seek'. Its all about relationships. 

Let me tell you a little about this family. He is a 30 year old Haitian man, he loves Jesus and follows Him completely. He is married and has a two year old little boy and another one on the way. Both he and his wife are smart, kind, and willing to be used by God. 

He was describing to me how he and his wife moved to Lafito 7 months ago. They live in a two bedroom house with a little kitchen, living room and dining room. The house was originally built approximately 40 years ago by the government so they could get workers to work in the flour mill nearby. However as time passed, the houses have been sold and rented out many times. They are well built homes, arranged in an organized fashion and with space between the homes. Because of this, they are coveted by everyone, a little more expensive, and safer than the tarp and brick homes just north and south of them. 

The home he lives in is owned by an older (possibly elderly, I didn't see her) woman. Her brother lived with her but died, and without her brother, she did not have a way to support herself. She decided to rent out most of the house but keep one room to live in. Our friend agreed to that arrangement and rents a portion of the house. He shares food and extras with the woman when he has it and offers protection for her as well. 

This family humbles me. They have taken in a young girl, Sophia age 17, to live with them because she does not have any family. Her mom and dad died, leaving her at the mercy of others. Sometimes, when this happens the person that is 'taken in', is treated very poorly. However, this family is loving on her as if she is their own. God has a sense of humor because she looks so much like the wife of this family, that I would have gauranteed she was her sister! She fits right in. 

They have also taken in the wife's brother's daughter. Saraphina is now 7 years old and has been living with this family since she was born; neither of her parents wanted her. They send her to school and love on her as if she was their own. It is beautiful. 

This family also helps run a school in the mountains. They use this school to share the gospel and to bring hope to the families in that community. They teach the youth at the local church about how to follow Jesus. They have developed a program for sex education that is used in local schools. They have a little ministry in their community where they show films in the street. People know they can come for free and spend their evening in a family friendly place. 

This family, in comparison, has very little in material goods. Yet, the way they share humbles me. I see Jesus in them.