Home...its a tricky word.
Is home where your stuff is?
Is home the city where your parents and siblings and friends are?
Is home where your husband is or kids live?
I sort of feel like we have multiple homes...or no home.
The answer is yes and no. It is nice to be back. I like breathing the same air as my friends and family while I'm talking to them. Inviiting myself over for lunch with my parents. I like the luxuries of America. The ease of driving. The freedoms to choose any kind of food that we could want.
And no. I miss my friends in Haiti, Haitian and American. I miss speaking, hearing, practicing Creole. I miss good produce. I miss having structure around our days. I miss my bed.
I never know how to answer the question. Normally I just say, yes its great!
But being back is a LOT of work!
We don't have a house to call home so, no matter how gracious our hosts, we are always imposing when we return.
We are here to share the vision God has given us with as many people as possible so that God can soften the hearts he chooses.
Yet there are always questions around sharing.
Am I doing enough?
Am I being too pushy?
I don't want people to dread seeing us as they know we are fundraising.
But I also don't want people NOT to know we need funding to do this ministry.
It is tiring. It also makes me trust God. Daily. I literally have to give him these thoughts daily.
My new song is called "Good good Father" and it goes like this:
"You're a good good father
It's who you are, it's who you are
It's who you are.
And I'm loved by you
Its who I am, It's who I am
It's who I am
I listen to this song reminding me how good my Heavenly Father is and that I am loved by Him, the creator of all things. And I realize something...where my home is doesn't really matter. My home is wherever He calls me. And I am good with that.
