What am I here for?

What does a missionary do?  If you can answer this question fully than you are way ahead of me.  It is scary for me to think that.  I mean here we are in Haiti, missionaries, and I can't tell you what I am here to do.  Now don't get me wrong, I now what my role here at Grace Village is, but besides that what does God want me to do.

We have a bible study every Sunday over on Global Outreach's property (in Titanyen).  There are about 10 different groups of American missionaries that get together.  It is a wonderful time of worship and study.  This is were we go to get filled by like minded people and learn more about our Faith.  I am amazed by the hearts and minds of these people.  We have people that are new to the field (like us) and some that have been doing it for 30 years or more.  Each one of us does different things here, orphanages, schools, drilling wells, feeding programs, etc.  

We had a lesson recently where we talked about evangelism.  Spreading the good news of God.  There was a discussion about how many people missionaries lead to Christ.  I am going to be honest, the first thought that entered my head was as follows: "You mean I quit my job, moved my family to a third world country, gave up most of I had to be here and I also have to lead them to Christ? Isn't my sacrifice enough to show what it means to be a Christian?"  I know this is a very selfish thought but it only lasted for a minute and what it really was, was me feeling convicted.  

Now, in the US this was an easy thing to play off.  I am in Management at my work and evangelizing could be taken the wrong way by an employee.  Most of my friends where Christians and those that weren't had heard things from me from time to time ( I would use the few and far between evangelism tactic, meaning I wasn't).  So the interesting thing here is that God continued to spin this in my head.  First, I realized how lame my excuses from before where and then I realized God called us here, not just to help, lead, and demonstrate a Christian life but to bring more people to his kingdom. 

Matthew 28-19 

Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Ok, so I am pretty sure there is no way he could make that request any clearer.  I hear you Lord, I hear you.  Now my prayer is that he would strengthen me and teach me how to make disciples.  

I have recently begun a bible study for some of the young men in Titanyen and I am hoping that God can use this to help me become the Evangelist he wants.  Please continue to pray for us.  Please pray that God takes away my fear and begins to use me in ways he has wanted to all along.

God's truths and constant support.

I have always enjoyed people, always. I love connecting and hearing their story. I love being a part of their lives, the interesting stuff and the boring stuff. I love to watch how God helps people grow closer to Him through so many diverse circumstances. In short, I enjoy people and their many different quirks and gifts and I love to serve. 

In fact, I have never understood why some people think it necessary to take a break from life. To go and be somewhere where people are serving you. I have always felt that my vacation times are better spent serving others, which is why I used my vacation time to lead trips to Haiti. I loved it and had the reserve. This thought process has changed since moving to Haiti. 

We are blessed with the opportunity to serve each and every day, all day. It is amazingly rewarding and incredibly exhausting. The culture is different, our support system is not readily available, and life here is constant. So, the other day I was feeling sorry for myself. I was thinking how exhausted I am and how I just wished that someone would feed into me for a while. I was thinking about how much I needed someone to reach out to fill me. Now I know from experience that when I am like this, whiny, I need to go and take a break, pray, and figure out what I need. Because this path is one of destruction. I am called to serve, but the balance is tricky. 

So I took a break and I began to whine to God...because I know he can handle my truths. I told him how sad I was and how I felt alone. I told him that I wanted someone to choose to fill me. I told him I was tired to the point of exhaustion and I knew that if I didn't get filled, I could not make it long term in Haiti. As I was whining to God, I felt a shift in my spirit. I felt God's truths fill my mind. He was always here for me and always present. Always. I didn't need anything but Him. 

As I sat there and absorbed the truth of that, He brought to mind other ways He has been helping me be filled. There is a woman, I won't use her name because I don't want to embarass her, who has been sending me weekly FB messages with a verse and words of encouragement. She has also been asking me, "What has God taught you this week? How can I pray for you this week?" Everytime she sends me one, I have felt surprised and cared for in a way that I can't explain. Her initiative in sending out these messages has literally been an answer to prayer that I didn't even realize I had yet. 

It was as if God was saying, "I am here and I know you also need community and I am sending you the kind of support you need. It doesn't look like you thought it should which is why you missed it. But I am taking care of you." 

Once God opened my eyes to see this, I realized that actually, there have been quite a few people that have reached out and been a part of refilling me through prayer, encouragement, and just loving me for who I am. I had been allowing my emotions to blind me to all the love that we are surrounded with. 

The lesson I learned: 

1. Keep bringing your true emotions to God so he can help you process through them. 

2. God is always faithful and is already answering your needs, you just need to look at things differently. 3. It is important as a Christian to take the initiative and reach out to someone. Pray so that when God calls you to reach out, you can hear the call.  

Matthew 20:28

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. 

Psalm 34:8

O taste and see that The Lord is good! Blessed is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him.

Thank you for all of you that cover us in prayer, that reach out in love, and those that help us financially. I am so grateful for your support and for beign a continual answer to our prayers. 

One of our supporters offered to pay for Shane and I to go to a hotel for some marriage maintenance (just another way that God is using others to continue to support and help us). Here are a couple of pictues so you can see how amazingly beautiful Haiti is. Thank you my friend!

7am sunrise and coffee, my favorite. 

The view from our room. 

Seriously good food. :) Blessings abound!!!

Shane and his little umbrella. Silliness.

"The rock thrower"

Sometimes one of the other long terms and I walk down our little mountain to a little shop to buy a drink. We will sit there while we drink it and just enjoy being part of the community. One thing often spoiled this time for us, I called them the 'rock throwers'. There was a group of girls that would pick up rocks and throw them at us as we walked by. These girls were in their mid-teens and often there was 2-4 of them. It was hard to understand what they were saying, but it was obvious that they were mad and were going to take it out on us. It was always a little scary because although they never actually hit us, they came very close. 

One time when we were walking by, I felt led to stop and ask the girl holding the large rock, "Why are you angry? Don't you want to be friends instead?" When I asked her this she froze, rock held in her hands prepped to throw. I continued by saying my name is Jennifer, I hoped that we could be friends, and maybe next time I walked by her home she would choose not to throw rocks at us so we could talk instead. This entire time she stood frozen and listenging but not responding. So with that we turned around and continued our journey up the mountain. When we turned our backs on her she did throw the rock...but it was obvious she purposely didn't hit us.  

A few weeks later we were walking through the area and I saw her again. This time she didn't have a rock, she remembered my name and she came over to talk to me. She told me she is 15 years old. Her dad died 2 years ago and since that time she has been unable to go to school because the family does not have money. She lives with her 4 siblings and her mom in a house with tarp sides and a tin roof. After speaking for a while, I told her thank you for talking to me and not having a rock. I was glad that we could be friends. When I tried to give her a side hug, her body was stiff. 

A week later I invited her up to Grace to just continue our relationship. We shared some water and a small snack with each other and just talked some more. She doesn't want to get behind on her school work so she helps two of her friends with their homework so she can learn along with them. She said she spends a lot of her time reading the Bible and helping her mom with the house. When I gave her a hug goodbye, she received it. 

Some time later, as I was walking to Grace, she joined me and we began to talk. I asked her if she goes to church to which she replied no, she does not because she does not have a dress to wear. I looked at her and saw that she had some jean capris on. I encouraged her to come as she was, I told her that I would wear my  jeans too so she wouldn't have to be the only one. She said she would think about it.

So the next Sunday came and I wore jeans. I have to say that it was an uncomfortable feeling. It is an unspoken cultural rule that women wear skirts or dresses to church and I knew that I was breaking that. However as I dressed for church I kept thinking of my friend Anachemie, and how I wanted her to know that God doesn't judge and welcomes her with open arms. I wore the jeans, Anachemie came to church, she borrowed her friends skirt. :)

Something fun I learned when she came to church was that I had been sitting with her little brother at church for the last 6 months. He had decided to adopt us as his 'church parents' and would always search for us so he could sit between us. He is a little 5 year old that likes to sit so he is touching one of us, if one of our kids have a fidget he likes to share, and if he misbehaves and I gently correct him he coveres his face with his hands and stays that way for 2-4 minutes. He is super cute. 

Needless to say, God has put this family in my path and now we are trying to figure out what God wants us to do. One thing I know we can do is get the 4 school aged children in this family into school. In Haiti you can not start school in the middle of a year, however next year they will be able to come and take the exams to hopefully be allowed entrance. 

I was able to bring them one box of Feed My Starving Children food to help support this momma and her children. I know this was a blessing as one of the times I met up with Anachemie, she had a bag filled with 4 cups of white rice. When I asked her what she would be having with the rice she said nothing, just rice; no beans, no fruit, no veggies, just rice. I know that this is just a temporary fix, however I will be continuing to meet with the momma and Anachemie to help them think of a way for them to begin supporting themselves. That is the key, sustainability and not dependance. But God has put her in our paths for a reason, I know that we have to respond. 

1 Peter 4:8

"Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins"

(even rock throwing:))

I love the quote: 

"Do for one what you wish you could do for many"

We are just going to keep helping the ones that God puts in our paths. If you think about it, we would love your prayers on this. That God will bless this family and that God will show my family who and how to help people. 

Anachemie's family

My beautiful friend Lisa and I (I don't know the little girl, she is from our school. She must have needed some love)

Its 90 degrees and they have jackets and HUGE sweaters on. I love Haiti!

Fellow long term, Bianca pumping water for the first time. 

Random pictures

Last week we went to a resort to take 24 hours of rest as a family. The french fries were a hit. It really is the small things. 

April 5th Shane and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I look back and can't believe how young we were. Its been impossibly hard, incredibly rewarding, and worth every minute. All glory to God for his interventions and grace as we have learned to love and follow Him together. 

We were able to celebrate our anniversary with all of the other long terms and with the Healing Haiti board members. They gave us this truly delicious cake and these beautiful flowers. 

We were then further recognized by our Grace church when Pastor Wesley asked us to come up in front of the church to announce our anniversary and have the entire church sing for us. I was embarrassed but it was nice too. 17 years is a long time and is something to celebrate. 

A small care package was delivered to Sierra by one of her friend's mom. She was so grateful she cried (again its the small things). Thanks Janelle and Kayla for loving on Sierra. 

 

This is a very common sight in Haiti. Everytime I see it I smile. 

Tim is one of our long term missionary friends. His posts are always so clever. The below picture is of a tire fire. He described it as a "'fire sale'...special on 'car tires!'"

Hannah is one of the long terms that have lived at Grace since we arrived and her last day was yesterday. We are going to miss her. She spent time with Sierra doing elderly visits, watching movies and painting nails. She hung out with Landen by reading his history books to him and just loving on him. 

Landen's birthday was April 8th, he is 9 years old! Here is his birthday cake. There is a story to the writing on it. We ordered and paid for the cake last week and then were able to pick it up on Landen's actual birthday. Mark, one of the newer long term missionaries at Grace, was already in the area so he offered to pick up the cake for us. When he arrived he noticed that there was no writing on the cake so he asked that they do this for him. However, he was not sure if Landen's name was 'en' or 'on'. Apparently he debated for quite a while with one of the Haitian staff members that was with him on how to proceed. After calling us several times but with no response, our Haitian staff suggested using the initals only...and so "Happy birthday L.I." Landen, I hope you never forget this one. 

Sierra hanging out with her friend Abby and making and decorating cupcakes.

Shane and Josue working together. 

Haiti.

A changed man

Let me start by saying I think my wife does an amazing job writing these blogs and I love to read them. Lately I have been asked when I was going to write one, so here it goes...

I feel the leading to share with everyone the things that lead up to my decision to come to Haiti and what the Lord is doing with me now that he has me here. I am going to write this from my perspective rather than our perspective.

In November of 2010, 10 months after the earthquake, Jennifer and I came down to Haiti on our first trip.  It was an amazing eye-opening event. I knew my heart had been changed forever.  I remember returning home and wanting to do everything I could to assist the people of Haiti.  I wanted to become a part of Healing Haiti, find more water trucks to send down, just continue to contribute.  Well sadly that feeling lasted about 2 weeks.  I had just finished my test to become a Volunteer Firemen, plus I worked about 60 hours a week at my full-time job.  The world got in the way.

As I poured myself back into my job and continued to work as a Fireman in the evenings the thoughts of helping Haiti faded into the background.  They were not completely gone, Jennifer had become an advocate within Healing Haiti and began training the people to lead the mission trips.  She was going to Haiti about 4 times a year.  I stayed home and played Daddy daycare while she was in Haiti and I "consulted" on most of the decisions she was making for her role.  I continued to convince myself that I was too busy and the role I played as a volunteer Fireman was giving back to the community so why should I do more.  I managed to go on 1 trip a year with Jennifer.  Side-note:  Jennifer wanted to move to Haiti since our first trip.  She had asked me if I would ever want to move there, my answer was a resounding "No".

Fast forward to the beginning of  2013.  I had been at my job for almost 9 years.  I enjoyed the challenge but I began to feel that I needed a change.  I began to pray that the Lord would point me in a new direction, maybe a new company or even a career change.  At first I just continued to feel discontent.  I was praying about it, but not often.  I can still hear Pastor Bob Merritt talking about praying and spending time in the Bible. I always meant to but never made the time.  Amazingly, in April, I went to the Twins home opener and was having a discussion with my co-worker.  We were talking about work and my possible job change and that is when it came out; "I am thinking about moving to Haiti".  No I wasn't, where did that come from?  On top of that, my co-worker began to encourage me to go.  So even though I was still shocked I said it, by the end of the evening I was at home telling Jennifer that I was thinking about moving to Haiti.

Shortly there after we decided to put it in the Lord's hands.  If  he opened the doors we would move, well let me tell you, he opened doors...we needed to sell my boat, find renters for our house, and raise at least $10,000 to start.  Those things were not even a challenge for him.

So in the beginning of October 2013 we moved to Haiti.  I thought all of that was amazing but it was nothing compared to what He had in store for me...we joke that the Lord had to convince us to move to Haiti in order for us to truly turn our lives over to him, but it is pretty true.  Among the trials and tribulations we have been going through the Lord has gotten me into his word and on my knees daily.  I look to him in almost every situation and I am trying to remember to look to him in every situation.  I have never felt closer to him.  The manna he provides us daily is amazing.  Watching him answer prayers and teach me just continues to deepen my faith.  Case in point, we posted in a blog a few days back and on Facebook that Haiti needed rain, well it has rained a little every night since then, in fact it is raining now.  He continues to humble me and teach me what a christian leader really is.

James 1: 2-4
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith it tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

So I just want to thank each of you that support us, through prayer, financially, and even just with your thoughts.  May God Bless you all.